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catscradle Aug. 15th, 2002 04:05 pm)
catscradle Aug. 15th, 2002 04:05 pm)So I'm reading some fanfic. Below is a dramatization of my reading experience:
Melodramatic stream of consciousness is not your friend. Put it away. It's okay for the characters to have dark thoughts, but when you teeter into melodrama they become cartoonish. Melodrama does not create more sympathy - it looks more like the character is a schmuck that doesn't know how to live their own life.
Verb tense agreement. I'd like to see it used.
I sit in this dive drinking myself to oblivion because you don't notice my existence. Even though you're dead. Dead, what sort of excuse is that? I'm dying. Soon I'll be as dead as you. It's your fault, you bastard. I have both hated and loved you. You noticed neither. I hate that you never noticed. You never knew the true me. I sent you letter after letter about the true me which you either ignored or never received. I don't know which, but it hurt just the same. And now you're dead and I'm drinking my life away on Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum in this dark and dirty bar. Did I mention it was a dive? Well it is. I've been reduced to nothing. I am lower than a gnat drunk on spiced rum. Why did you never love me, why?
Melodramatic stream of consciousness is not your friend. Put it away. It's okay for the characters to have dark thoughts, but when you teeter into melodrama they become cartoonish. Melodrama does not create more sympathy - it looks more like the character is a schmuck that doesn't know how to live their own life.
Verb tense agreement. I'd like to see it used.
