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catscradle Feb. 9th, 2003 11:51 am)
catscradle Feb. 9th, 2003 11:51 am)Today is self reflecting day. . .
I work up from a dream where two close friends of mine who have not talked with each other for quite a while reunited. I was in a movie theater with one of them and when we looked back, we saw our other friend sitting in the back row with his legs crossed in a yoga position. My friend sitting next to me said, "I suppose I shouldn't let a few hours destroy a lifetime." There was a sort of a reconciliation and then a long car drive.
The night before I dreamt of very large bees that seemed to be retaining water. They were stinging my head. Overall, I find last night's dream more soothing. Though both were connected. There actually was an incident with bees stinging my head (though they were skinny bees, not water retention bees) - and both parties were present at the time.
I've given up on fandoms, other than to occasionally write stories when the fancy strikes. It occured to me a while ago that while I was reading very intelligent conversations, they were on topics I no longer cared anything about. To participate I found myself regurgitationg things I said years ago. Nothing fresh, nothing new. When you find you're repeating yourself, it's usually time to take your leave. So that I'm doing.
All I can on the subject now - if you're out there and writing stories or doing art work or poetry or essays or stringing words together or putting color on a canvas, original or fanfic, wondrous or horrid - I applaud you. You're doing what most would dare not. Keep extending yourself.
On weight. I've been reading and hearing by mouth two extremes on the subject that are disturbing me. On one side the people that feel being over weight is gross and torturing themselves to loose the weight as though no one would love them unless they were thin. On the other side, those who freak at any talk of weightloss at all, as though anyone on a diet is practising self-hatred.
People, there is an in between state. Most people fall into this in between state. Everyone should do what is most comfortable and healthy for them to do.
I am currently try to lose weight to 1) help my back to heal and feel better, 2) to be healthy and more fit all around and 3) to look better and feel better about myself.
I am currently at 215. I liked how I looked and felt at 180. I am trying to get to that point again. So people that are telling me I'm not doing enough to speed up that process and those telling me that I'm practising self-hatred - go away. I don't need either of you (general you - I'm not talking to anyone specific on LJ).
I'm off to make fish chowder. . .
I work up from a dream where two close friends of mine who have not talked with each other for quite a while reunited. I was in a movie theater with one of them and when we looked back, we saw our other friend sitting in the back row with his legs crossed in a yoga position. My friend sitting next to me said, "I suppose I shouldn't let a few hours destroy a lifetime." There was a sort of a reconciliation and then a long car drive.
The night before I dreamt of very large bees that seemed to be retaining water. They were stinging my head. Overall, I find last night's dream more soothing. Though both were connected. There actually was an incident with bees stinging my head (though they were skinny bees, not water retention bees) - and both parties were present at the time.
I've given up on fandoms, other than to occasionally write stories when the fancy strikes. It occured to me a while ago that while I was reading very intelligent conversations, they were on topics I no longer cared anything about. To participate I found myself regurgitationg things I said years ago. Nothing fresh, nothing new. When you find you're repeating yourself, it's usually time to take your leave. So that I'm doing.
All I can on the subject now - if you're out there and writing stories or doing art work or poetry or essays or stringing words together or putting color on a canvas, original or fanfic, wondrous or horrid - I applaud you. You're doing what most would dare not. Keep extending yourself.
On weight. I've been reading and hearing by mouth two extremes on the subject that are disturbing me. On one side the people that feel being over weight is gross and torturing themselves to loose the weight as though no one would love them unless they were thin. On the other side, those who freak at any talk of weightloss at all, as though anyone on a diet is practising self-hatred.
People, there is an in between state. Most people fall into this in between state. Everyone should do what is most comfortable and healthy for them to do.
I am currently try to lose weight to 1) help my back to heal and feel better, 2) to be healthy and more fit all around and 3) to look better and feel better about myself.
I am currently at 215. I liked how I looked and felt at 180. I am trying to get to that point again. So people that are telling me I'm not doing enough to speed up that process and those telling me that I'm practising self-hatred - go away. I don't need either of you (general you - I'm not talking to anyone specific on LJ).
I'm off to make fish chowder. . .
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From:
about the weight thing...
From:
Re: about the weight thing...
From:
Re: about the weight thing...
From:
no subject
Who drove?
Was it snowing in the theater?
Bees retaining water…the bloated bees that cross us like pinnedolls…
we swim through stings and all that shining-
eyes before rivercheeks run.
Or is that a memory pelted with balled ice and pennedalls
we slide through?
( in styles of L.-- )
How we carry ourselves is important. I say,
carry what you must. Leave the rest
how and when
you can.
There's nothing self-loathing about it.
As always,
your sincerely loving friend,
andru
From:
no subject
Who drove?
Was it snowing in the theater?
You know, it was snowing in the theater! I was wearing a heavy coat. Hmmm. . . I don't remember who drove.
Leah would be proud.