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catscradle Jun. 21st, 2002 11:08 am)
catscradle Jun. 21st, 2002 11:08 am)Hello all and welcome to the latest installment of Vampire Chronicles - Blackwood Farm. Spooks Magazine was good enough to provide an excerpt for us and post it online. Go here to feel the pain. It's a large download pdf file so be careful if you don't have much memory or are using an OS that's older than '98. It's page 66 to make it easer to find.
Of interest - the picture they used for Armand T-shirts, book markers, candles and toilet paper cozies at the Garden District Book store, is on the cover of this book. Ironically, as far as I can tell, Armand is not in this book. Good that they used the picture here instead of, lets say, the cover of The Vampire Armand.
What's back: From Blood and Gold we have for an encore presentation - The Cloud Gift, The Fire Gift and the not to often used Mind Gift. Spoken like a true Blood Hunter, this guy is barely a year old fledgling and makes Thornvald look like a techno wiz. Let's hear it for the lastest Fang Gang wannabe, The Mighty Quinn! Yes, our new vamp is named Quinn. He starts his unimpressive life with the undead by writing a letter to Lestat begging him to listen to his story before killing him. At least he even knows how pathetic he is. "Dear Lestat. Will you kill me? Please check yes or no. Love, Quinn" - only if it were that short - but I garantee it is that stupid. In the middle of the letter and out of the clear blue, Quinn decides to give us the architectual design plans of his ancestral Blackwood Manor "Our ancestral home is Blackwood Manor, an august if not overblown house in the grandest Greek Revival-style, replete-" yes, it says replete, "with enormous and dizzying Corinthian columns, and immense stucture on high ground." Apparently he's hoping to appeal to the snob in Lestat - or this letter was actually meant for Frank Lloyd Wright.
Quinn's got a demon familiar - a real one, it's not really Armand in disguise. This one is named Goblin. Yes, Goblin. Anne, Marvel Comics called, they want their villian back. Thanks. Holy Shit. Yeah, this gets better. There's a goodly Talamasca agent named Sterling Oliver - because I guess Oliver Sterling was too fucking normal. Trance Gemini, anyone? Oh, get it over with, Anne. Sign a contract with DC or Marvel and trademark this cartoon you've been writing since Memnoch. Maybe we'd understand it then.
As I was saying. . . Goblin - our would-be villian - he's evil. He's a spirit like Amel and he's out for BLOOOD! Or maybe just a good lay, I'm really not sure from the context of the book.
It get s little better when Quinn puts down the quill and acknowledges he's an asshole. I liked that bit of recognition - and actually the writing isn't that bad after that point - it's not good either. But it's certainly better than anything Blood and Gold gave us by chapter two, so I'll give her credit for getting over the Two Chapters of Unadultrated Drek allowance she's had for the past five books.
Chapter 2 ends with an appearance from Lestat looking none to pleasant. Only time will tell if he's out to kick demon Goblin ass, just wondering why Quinn couldn't use the fucking postal service or e-mail rather than breaking into his house to give him a letter, or if he'll fall into a dead coma while David apologizes for the intrusion.
The main problem with Chapters 1 and 2 of Blackwood Farm so far seem to be the lack of logic as to why certain random bits of information pop up. The letter reads like the first chapter of MerriQue and the infamous looking at family photos scene. That letter could have been written in half a page. Any info Anne thought was important for later digestion was forced - instead of thinking "Oh, I wonder what that will lead to. . ." the reader thinks "What the hell, Quinn think Lestat subscribes to Architecture Digest?"
Doesn't look promising, but it does look better than MerriQue and Blood and Gold, for what that's worth.
Of interest - the picture they used for Armand T-shirts, book markers, candles and toilet paper cozies at the Garden District Book store, is on the cover of this book. Ironically, as far as I can tell, Armand is not in this book. Good that they used the picture here instead of, lets say, the cover of The Vampire Armand.
What's back: From Blood and Gold we have for an encore presentation - The Cloud Gift, The Fire Gift and the not to often used Mind Gift. Spoken like a true Blood Hunter, this guy is barely a year old fledgling and makes Thornvald look like a techno wiz. Let's hear it for the lastest Fang Gang wannabe, The Mighty Quinn! Yes, our new vamp is named Quinn. He starts his unimpressive life with the undead by writing a letter to Lestat begging him to listen to his story before killing him. At least he even knows how pathetic he is. "Dear Lestat. Will you kill me? Please check yes or no. Love, Quinn" - only if it were that short - but I garantee it is that stupid. In the middle of the letter and out of the clear blue, Quinn decides to give us the architectual design plans of his ancestral Blackwood Manor "Our ancestral home is Blackwood Manor, an august if not overblown house in the grandest Greek Revival-style, replete-" yes, it says replete, "with enormous and dizzying Corinthian columns, and immense stucture on high ground." Apparently he's hoping to appeal to the snob in Lestat - or this letter was actually meant for Frank Lloyd Wright.
Quinn's got a demon familiar - a real one, it's not really Armand in disguise. This one is named Goblin. Yes, Goblin. Anne, Marvel Comics called, they want their villian back. Thanks. Holy Shit. Yeah, this gets better. There's a goodly Talamasca agent named Sterling Oliver - because I guess Oliver Sterling was too fucking normal. Trance Gemini, anyone? Oh, get it over with, Anne. Sign a contract with DC or Marvel and trademark this cartoon you've been writing since Memnoch. Maybe we'd understand it then.
As I was saying. . . Goblin - our would-be villian - he's evil. He's a spirit like Amel and he's out for BLOOOD! Or maybe just a good lay, I'm really not sure from the context of the book.
It get s little better when Quinn puts down the quill and acknowledges he's an asshole. I liked that bit of recognition - and actually the writing isn't that bad after that point - it's not good either. But it's certainly better than anything Blood and Gold gave us by chapter two, so I'll give her credit for getting over the Two Chapters of Unadultrated Drek allowance she's had for the past five books.
Chapter 2 ends with an appearance from Lestat looking none to pleasant. Only time will tell if he's out to kick demon Goblin ass, just wondering why Quinn couldn't use the fucking postal service or e-mail rather than breaking into his house to give him a letter, or if he'll fall into a dead coma while David apologizes for the intrusion.
The main problem with Chapters 1 and 2 of Blackwood Farm so far seem to be the lack of logic as to why certain random bits of information pop up. The letter reads like the first chapter of MerriQue and the infamous looking at family photos scene. That letter could have been written in half a page. Any info Anne thought was important for later digestion was forced - instead of thinking "Oh, I wonder what that will lead to. . ." the reader thinks "What the hell, Quinn think Lestat subscribes to Architecture Digest?"
Doesn't look promising, but it does look better than MerriQue and Blood and Gold, for what that's worth.
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thanks for that.
I knew it was a good thing I stopped reading after Memnoch the Doorstop...