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catscradle Jul. 11th, 2007 03:32 pm)
catscradle Jul. 11th, 2007 03:32 pm)I'm friends with one of the faculty here that teaches film editing. She asked her students today to pick a movie they liked and then list what they would edit from the movie to make it better. So I'm going to do that now.
Trivial Things in Otherwise Good Movies I Would Edit Because They Annoy Me to Distraction:
Lord of the Rings: In Fellowship Bilbo asks Gandalf to keep an eye on Frodo. Gandalf responds by saying he'll keep two eyes on him - as though Frodo is some hoodlum hobbit. True in the book Frodo was known to get into some mischief as a youth, but that's never established in the movie, where his most mischievous act was to shove Sam into Rosie Cotton on the dance floor.
Minority Report: The rotten sandwich. Tom Cruise gets an eyeball transplant from a guy that runs an underground eyeball blackmarket place and is told when he wakes up to feel his way to the refrigerator and grab a sandwich. But the blackmarket guy never tossed the last sandwich that his last patient left about 5 years ago. So there are two sandwiches and Tom grabs the wrong one. This is so gratuitiously disgusting it still pisses me off.
Magnolia: The frogs. The movie is based on the wackiness of synchronicity, but there are no synchronicites in the movie - or at least no important ones that tie it all together. It'd be a great movie if they could just get that one little thing to click and the frogs don't do it.
Kill Bill part II: If you edit about a half hour of the first movie, you can fit all you need of part II into it.
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl: Elizabeth Swann's maid. You know the one that burns Elizabeth's feet off by putting the hot coals in the bed with her? I also hate her voice. "You're the governor's dauuuuuughter!" I totally want to slap her.
Spiderman: Kirsten Dunst. I typically don't mind her, but I would so totally edit her out of all the Spiderman movies. If Spidey isn't going to go for his true love Harry, then he should date Ursula. There should be Ursula support websites out there if there aren't. She's so totally cool and MJ is just a whiney bitch.
Trivial Things in Otherwise Good Movies I Would Edit Because They Annoy Me to Distraction:
Lord of the Rings: In Fellowship Bilbo asks Gandalf to keep an eye on Frodo. Gandalf responds by saying he'll keep two eyes on him - as though Frodo is some hoodlum hobbit. True in the book Frodo was known to get into some mischief as a youth, but that's never established in the movie, where his most mischievous act was to shove Sam into Rosie Cotton on the dance floor.
Minority Report: The rotten sandwich. Tom Cruise gets an eyeball transplant from a guy that runs an underground eyeball blackmarket place and is told when he wakes up to feel his way to the refrigerator and grab a sandwich. But the blackmarket guy never tossed the last sandwich that his last patient left about 5 years ago. So there are two sandwiches and Tom grabs the wrong one. This is so gratuitiously disgusting it still pisses me off.
Magnolia: The frogs. The movie is based on the wackiness of synchronicity, but there are no synchronicites in the movie - or at least no important ones that tie it all together. It'd be a great movie if they could just get that one little thing to click and the frogs don't do it.
Kill Bill part II: If you edit about a half hour of the first movie, you can fit all you need of part II into it.
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl: Elizabeth Swann's maid. You know the one that burns Elizabeth's feet off by putting the hot coals in the bed with her? I also hate her voice. "You're the governor's dauuuuuughter!" I totally want to slap her.
Spiderman: Kirsten Dunst. I typically don't mind her, but I would so totally edit her out of all the Spiderman movies. If Spidey isn't going to go for his true love Harry, then he should date Ursula. There should be Ursula support websites out there if there aren't. She's so totally cool and MJ is just a whiney bitch.
