When Amebas Cry . . .

[catscradle]

So Georgia is considering banning the word "evolution" because it's making too many people all hot and bothered. They want to instead call it "biological changes over time." I think they should change it to "a change in the properties of populations of organisms that transcend the lifetime of a single individual and are inheritable via the genetic material from one generation to the next, you lemur-brained asswipes." Just so we all know what we're talking about. I think if we make the new name of evolution long enough, the critics will just get bored of it and drop the matter entirely.

I'm actually all for teaching creationism in the class room, provided it's the right creationism. None of this Adam and Eve nonsense, no I'm talking about good ole native American creationism. And by that, I of course mean Inuit creation ideology. Raven's stealing the sunlight, and boat maidens having their fingers cut off by their fathers. It's little known fact that most of us are descended from the right index finger of an Alaskan boatman's daughter. An even lesser known fact is that War and Peace is actually a palindrome, but that's a debate for another day.

As my friend Nick has said - "I've taken the wrong pill and ended up in the Matrix. And it's really pissing me off that I can't do any of the funky moves."

Comments

[stakebait.livejournal.com]

Oh fer Chrissakes.

A rose by any other name is a multipetaled chromatic aromatic plant sexual organ.

Mer

Re:

[catscradle.livejournal.com]

No, no, you can't use "sexual", "organ" or "aromatic" in the same sentence in this state, buddy. Next think you know there'll be talk of free bee-love and directions on how to receive mail order cherry flavored condoms. Uh-uh, not on my watch. Even "multipetaled" is pushing it in more conservative circles, because we all know what Georgia O'Keeffe was really getting at.

Re:

[wiebke.livejournal.com]

Even "multipetaled" is pushing it in more conservative circles, because we all know what Georgia O'Keeffe was really getting at.

Yes, we do! Look how many O'Keefe paintings are at the Boston Museum of Fine Arts! That's gotta be proof of dangerous themes not suitable for America.

Re:

[catscradle.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, let's get started on Boston! Canadian, drug-swilling, tea addicts! Yeah, fine example for Americans to follow. . .

Re:

[wiebke.livejournal.com]

Yeah, esp. when Northampton is only 2 hours away and we know it's all lesbians, possibly Irish Catholic lesbians, who heading up Boston's elite, albeit from afar ;)