I'll have a half cap double decaf with a twist of lemon

As if my coffee couldn't get snobbier, I now have to switch from milk to soy. I've been drinking soy instead of milk for a while now, but for little things like coffee and cooking I was still using fat free milk. But the other day I was under my desk curled in a fetal position waiting for the pain to pass. The culprit? My stupid coffee. Okay, I can take the hint. Most people become lactose intolerant by age 30. We're simply not meant to drink the stuff past childhood. So soy it is. I actually like the tase better, so no big deal. It's great for making curry stuff.

But damn. Today I had a vanilla-valencia grande latte with soy. I think if I had said "decaf" the pretentious police would have come after me. Here's to addiction!