DNCC Round Up
Here begins my official weekly coverage of the Democratic National Committee Convention in Denver
. There's quite a bit to catch up on, but here’s the big news from the past few weeks.
Today’s secret DNCC word of the day is: sewer sucker
. You’ll have to read on to discover why.
As you’ve probably heard by now, Obama has moved the site of his nomination acceptance speech
from the small Pepsi Center to the much larger
Invesco Field Mile High Stadium
. When all is said and done, 76-80 thousand people will be able to attend. The tickets will only be available to Colorado residents as special thanks from Obama for putting up with him. Hey, thanks man! Mayor Hickenlooper (yeah, that’s his real name) has come out and put it bluntly – they have no idea how the tickets will be made available yet and your chances of getting any are small. But hey, those chances have dramatically increased from last weeks nil. Wish me luck, folks.
Naturally there has been some
public out cry that this will bankrupt the state and the taxpayers will foot the bill
. Apparently they missed the memo that the former Republican Governor, Bill Owens, already bankrupted the state. Hickenlooper’s been making the rounds and telling everyone to chill
, as there will be no problem raising the money to pay for the bash. I’m thinking if he handles this like the Catholics we’ll have it paid off in no time flat; a bake sale here, a spaghetti dinner there and a shitload of Friday night bingo and we’ll be set before Thanksgiving! In Whoooooa! WTF??!?? News
: On June 18, Blackhawk helicopters were sited flying low around buildings in the downtown area.
Some rattled witnesses
took footage of the helicopters. The military, only explaining the matter after
the fact, stated that it had nothing to do with DNC security. They said it was a precautionary measure in the event of an urban attack by terrorists. In the case of an emergency, they wanted to make sure they knew the layout of the city. Uh-huh. So did ya throw darts at a map and just fly into the city it happened to land on, buddy? Speculations range from it really being about DNC security to a more sinister plot to lock down the city in the event of stupidity taking control
. Just about no one thinks it has anything to do with fighting global terrorism. Has this happened in any other major city yet? If so, drop me a line
and let me know about it.There’s an Algae Monster in the Water
– No it’s not in China, it’s here in our very own city of Denver. They’re hauling out the sewer sucker today (yeah, that is its real name) to drudge the lake and get rid of the algae that’s threatening the aesthetic sensibilities of Democrats and protesters
alike. I’ve noticed this in the pond near my condo too. Some say this is due to climate change
, and I have to wonder if there’s a sewer sucker out there big enough to suck that little threat out of the world. Or at the very least, suck enough logic out of the world to make our fearless world leaders once again leave the G8 happy in that they’ve all agreed to disagree. Apparently there is.
From now until the convention, I’ll be toting my camera with me to snap pictures of the blessed event. This ought to get interesting...
"Desperate men do desperate things, and stupid men do stupid things. We are in for a desperately stupid summer." --Hunter S. Thompson on the 2004 Campaign